So, I was on my way to work listening to the “Gettin’ Grown” podcast as I had been doing for the past couple weeks. (I just started listening to it, so I am still in 2017, don’t judge me). I was listening to the episode titled “The Ghosts of Our “20s” Past.” They had a great discussion advice, information and tips that they would tell their 20-year old, or younger, selves if they had the opportunity. As I listened to the many pieces of wisdom that were given from the hosts, Jade and Keia, as well as their friends that they summoned for this challenge, I, too, felt compelled to speak a word to my 20-year old self. I realized that I still had a lot of guilt, shame and unresolved feelings that I tend to blame on 20-year old me without giving her the credit for her numerous accomplishments and paving the way for 30-year old me. Here goes, in no particular order:
- It’s ok to say no.
Don’t be afraid if people don’t like you after. The people that matter will stay and the people that don’t, well they aren’t going to be around in your 30’s.
- YOU DON’T LOVE HIM…or HIM………OR HIM!!
(no explanation needed.)
- You don’t have to be so hard.
Not everyone is out to get you or wants to hurt you intentionally. Just be a smart about the people that you keep around you.
- ALWAYS go with your gut.
It is right every time, even when you go against it.
- You’re good enough!
Stop letting what other people say get in the way of what you think or feel about yourself. It carries no real weight whatsoever.
- Don’t wear tank tops on top of collared shirts!
That shit is ugly, and you will regret the pictures that you took in it. Oh yea! And ditch the costume jewelry. I don’t care what everybody else was wearing, it’s a no go!
- Keep your job at Target.
No, seriously. You hit a lick with that one your freshman year and you will never see that kind of money until refund season rolls around…2 years later. Save your money!
- Stay focused!
You are so smart, but you tend to allow unnecessary shit to get in the way of what it is that you really want.
- Let that hurt go sis!!!!!!!
Talk to someone, write in a journal, spray paint it on a wall I don’t care, but just let it go. It is going to get in your way and cause more damage holding on to it than it did when it actually happened.
- Find some confidence!
Everything you do, you do it extremely well, but people are hesitant to believe it because your delivery lacks the confidence that it needs to really take your many talents to the next level.
BONUS: STOP BEING SO SCARY!
Almost, everything that I just mentioned is rooted in some type of fear. Do what you want to do and do it to the best of your ability! Do not let that fear stop you from the growth that you won’t see until your 30’s.
I challenge those of you who are reading this to write to your 20-year-old selves and give them the advice that you wish you had gotten. It doesn’t have to be long or profound, just honest. What do you wish that you knew in your 20’s that you know now. And if you’re still in your 20’s, pick a number and talk to your younger self about what you wish you knew at that age. Feel free to share your thoughts!