My name is Henrietta Dixon, I am 34 years old. I am a currently a 4th grade Science Teacher and a proud mother of two amazing little princesses, Skylar (4) and Sage (2months). I am the wife of DeAndre Dixon the most amazing husband in the world. I love and adore my little family. Being that I’m a mommy of two, I am definitely learning how to find balance and still be able to not forget about myself. I am very family oriented but enjoy spending time with my friends. My family is my entire world!
Initially, I wanted to know about the similarities and differences between Henrietta’s two pregnancies. I naively assumed that since there was just a 3-year age gap that there would be more alike than different. Well to my surprise, Henrietta informed me that there were several factors that played into her contrasting prenatal experiences.
For one, Henrietta’s age during both pregnancies was a definite factor, one that I did not quite consider until she mentioned it. When Henrietta was pregnant with Skylar, she was 29 years old. At the age of 34 is when Sage came. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but for women, 30 is when you slowly start to feel those changes in your body where you don’t quite bounce back or recover like you used to.
For Henrietta, those changes became even more apparent with her second pregnancy. She recalled how easy her pregnancy was with Skylar but how much harder the symptoms were to endure when she was having Sage. She spoke about the constant bodily pain, the sickness and the challenge of just getting a good night’s sleep. There was also another factor that may have changed the trajectory of her next pregnancy.
Henrietta revealed the devastating news of her miscarriage that took place in between having Skylar and Sage. She talked about feeling guilty and how she felt that she was somehow responsible for the miscarriage. This is not the first time that I have heard a mom talk about their feeling as though they could have done something different in order to prevent the miscarriage. I reminded Henrietta how our bodies are going to do as they will leaving us little to no control over the outcome. I recounted to her the previous mom’s that I had the pleasure of hearing their stories about their miscarriages and how similar the conversation felt. The commonality of the shame that was felt along with the silence that accompanied such grave loss became even more apparent. Henrietta stated that once she got the courage to talk to her close friends and family about it, then she was able to realize that she was not alone in her feelings and was able to find comfort in knowing that.
Having one child is a tough battle to fight so I had to know what Henrietta did to juggle all of the tasks of motherhood, being a wife, working full-time and staying social. She spoke about how crucial it is to make time for her family despite working a full-time job catering to the needs of children that are not her own. She stated that when she gets home, regardless of being drained from the day’s work, she is adamant about making time to read, play and interact with her children, as well as “trying to find balance” in making time for her husband.
One of the most honest statements that I have heard a mother say was when Henrietta said, “I don’t like being pregnant.” When she said this, I sighed a breath of relief. Although my pregnancy pales in comparison to the two that Henrietta endured, I completely understood why she would feel that way. Although she felt very supported by her husband and family throughout both of her pregnancies, the actual act of carrying a child for 9 months can be, at the VERY LEAST, uncomfortable.
As our conversation came to a close, I asked Henrietta the million-dollar question, “do you want to have anymore?” I wondered since she has two girls, if they foresaw the need to “complete” their family with a boy. Her response, simple and concise: “Hell no!” I chuckled in complete understanding. After all that her body has been through in these last few years, I recognize her desire to stop at two.
Lastly, I asked “what advice would you give to moms or future moms based on your experience thus far?”
“Motherhood is the best, most rewarding job. Motherhood is a blessing. Don’t take it for granted. Enjoy your kids.”