If it weren’t for that road…

If it weren’t for that road…

There have been times where I felt that I was going about things exactly the right way. Following the play book, asking the right questions, making the right moves and adjustments. Then, all of a sudden, what I had been working so hard on or investing so much of my time in, comes crashing down, or I pull a thread and the entire fabric of my hard work unravels right in my hands.

At one time I had a beautiful garment and now I am looking at a pile of thread that lay at my feet with no way to identify which piece goes where. So, I mull it around in my mind. I did everything, “by the book,” that I was supposed to do. I followed every rule. I crossed every T and dotted every i. What could have gone wrong?

Because of my obsession for my plans to go exactly as I map them out and directly in line with my list of to-do items, it makes me susceptible to blocking out the outside noise and only focusing on the target in front of me. Now, if I was in the army or in some field where focus on a target is the matter of life or death, then yes, I did exactly what I was supposed to do. But this is life; where oftentimes the outside noise shapes the way that we view the target as well as the direction in which we may end up getting to that desired end goal.

So much of life is a “guessing game.” We are so busy fitting pieces together that we miss out on the “fun” that we have just trying to figure out what piece goes where…or doesn’t.  Whether we try several pieces in the same spot or we randomly pick up a piece and it happens to be exactly what we needed; at some point we have to realize that things don’t happen by chance but that there is a lesson in every circumstance or situation whether planned or not. The only rule in that game is “how are you maximizing your experience and broadening your understanding to benefit you?”

So what that guy didn’t work out? Or that job was not what you expected it to be? Maybe that friend was not who you thought they were. What did you pull from those situations that made you a little bit better than how you went in?

What I have come to realize is that, yes, we have goals and dreams and we want to make them happen. There is absolutely no problem with having and setting goals. But even more so, there are more lessons awaiting us in the path that it takes to get there than there are in the end destination.

Where Have You Been?!

Where Have You Been?!

Since the last time I posted, life has been coming at me FAST!

Let me catch y’all up to speed on what has been going on in my life up until now.

In January, I got my provisional license to counsel and have been working on my hours towards full licensure. (Yay!)

I obtained a job conducting group therapy with clients that suffer from severe mental health diagnoses such as Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Major Depression, etc. Let me just say, I have been loving it! Although it is draining and only mildly rewarding as far as seeing progress from the clients, the amount of knowledge that I am adding into my counseling bucket, along with the sheer entertainment of the clients’ unfiltered comments, far outweighs the agonizing exhaustion that I feel on a daily basis.

I had an amazing Mother’s Day/Mental Health awareness brunch event! The amount of work that went into the event was absolutely worth every bit of the doubt, fear and frustration that I had while planning the event.

I will have a separate post to discuss the details of the event and how it came together. I must say that this being my first event that I have organized and sold tickets for; I am EXTREMELY proud of myself! BUT, I can’t take all the credit. My food blogger friend,  Brunchin’ With Gelle collaborated with me on this amazing initiative and helped to pull it all together.

All of this has been taking place while a little 4-year old boy runs around screaming “mommy” and telling me how hungry he is every 5 minutes. Not to mention, I have been trying my hand at having a social life which to be honest is a job all on its own. *insert tired GIF*

But now that the event is over and I have some of my time back, I plan on getting back on #MomCrushMonday posts and highlighting some dope moms, as well as bringing y’all some tips, tricks and vents to indulge in!

I appreciate all of the love and support and for supporting me through these silent times. I am working on my consistency so I can continue to bring some good content that hopefully will help in some way.

If you have any suggestions for #MomCrushMonday or any topic that you would like for me to hit on please feel free to reach out via email or DM on Instagram @_melaninmom !

The End of the Road…

The End of the Road…

As we leave behind the roller coaster that is 2018 and embrace the newness of 2019, I would like to take some time to reflect on what this year meant to me.

Overall, I can say that 2018 has been a hell of a ride. The year was extremely heavy for me personally, however the heaviness made room for the abundance that was received in these last few months of 2018. Based on my beginning months of 2018, I could have never imagined that it would end with such a joyous bang.

The knowledge and understanding that I have acquired throughout this year has absolutely surpassed that which I have learned in the course of my life. It’s almost as if a shift occurred and my eyes have been opened to a completely different world. Some of the things that I have learned caused a deep level of acceptance as well as mourning within myself. I had to let go of things that I have known all of my life because it no longer suited me. With that came a period of mourning and feeling as though I had lost myself. Little did I know, that shift was making room for me to be more accepting of others and let my guard down enough to allow people to experience who I really am and not who I was “programmed” to be.

I feel as though the information that I have acquired caused me to view people and perspectives in a way that I have not been used to. I had to discard what I have come to know thus far and replenish my understanding with valid and justifiable information as opposed to seeing things through mine, and others’, distorted lenses. Does the old saying ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’ sound too cliché in this moment. Because it is absolutely fitting. However, that book is not just people but experiences as well.

Now I see people, events and perspectives on my own terms instead of through the eyes of those people who made a huge impact on my life (i.e., parents, grandparents, teachers, mentors and even friends.) I took on a lot of feelings, mostly pain and anger, from other people; and now I finally realized that those were never my feelings to begin with and not my battle to fight.

With all of that being said some questions came to mind about how I feel that my 2018 went and how I want my 2019 to go. These are some questions that I asked myself and I would like for you to do your own “year-end review.”

What are 3 things/traits/views about yourself that you want to leave in 2018?

What is one thing you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t already know?

Do you like the person that you were this year? If not, what would you change/do differently?

What is one thing that you wanted to accomplish this year that you said you were going to do in 2017? Did you accomplish it?

What is something that you wanted to do in 2018 that you did not? What is the reason for it not being done?

How did you use your negative experiences throughout the year to create a more positive environment for yourself? Was it successful?

Overall, how do you feel like your year went?

If you could sum your year up with one word, what would it be?

Lastly, what is one major goal that you want to tackle in 2019? (no small thinking here)

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND SEE YOU IN 2019!

All of These Blessings Keep Falling in My Lap

All of These Blessings Keep Falling in My Lap

The way that my 2018 started, I would have never imagined that it would be end the way that it has. Toward the beginning/middle of this year, I was questioning my existence on this earth. I had no motivation, no hope and felt that my purpose was waning. There have been so many important milestones and events that happened that I could have never understood how it would change the entire trajectory of my year.

I received my masters degree and shortly after, I moved into a new apartment that was a lot quieter and more conducive to my sense of peace. When I moved, I realized how important it is to let go of old/negative energies and environments. After doing so, I almost immediately felt a shift in my emotional and mental state. I had lived in my previous apartment for 3 years and it had so many memories and people, both positive and negative, tied to it. That apartment was always full of live because of all the activity going on with always having friends over and all of the arguments with my ex. But it was also where a piece of me died because of all the emotional trauma that I had endured there as well.

Once I got my in my new place and got it set up the way that I wanted it, I felt like I had a renewed sense of who I was and who I was destined to be. I felt revived, rejuvenated and my outlook on life was entirely transformed for the better. I also think, well I know, that the break up that I was going through at the time of the transition into my new apartment had a lot to do with it as well. The energy from that relationship began to turn toxic and I knew that it had to come to an end for the sanity of the both of us. Once the relationship completely dissolved and I was settled in my new home, I was able to embrace being by myself, in every sense of the word. It felt amazing!

It got to the point that I preferred to be by myself as opposed to leaving the house to do anything. I barely wanted to go to the grocery store because I knew once I stepped foot outside my door that that much desired peace would slip away, even if only briefly. After a while I realized that the connection of peace that I had to my home was one that I wanted to be able to take with me everywhere I went. I didn’t want to only feel good when I was sitting in solitude but also when I was out, maybe with a group of friends or even just perusing the aisles at the store. So I worked harder at it. I no longer allowed other people’s energies, ideas or moods to consume my space and began to master the art of not giving a fuck. Who knew?

I’m August I launched my blog that I had been talking about all 2017 that I wanted to do. I created goals surrounding it and really began to step into my purpose. September through November was busy yet quiet. I was working diligently on creating and maintaining a self-care routine that was actually working. I also got to step back into the social scene with a significant weight loss, both physical and emotional. All in all, I was satisfied.

December though?! All I can say is WOW. He has been showing out. I passed my counseling exam and 2 days later I celebrated my 31st birthday. I decided to treat myself to a HER concert and a trip to DC. The next day after returning from my trip, a car dropped in my lap. It was completely unexpected and not in my plans at all. I had been struggling for a while with trying to decide if I was going to continue to put money into my car or if I was going to get a new one. I had it made up in my mind that I was going to get it fixed and keep it since I only had a few more payments left on it. I was prepared to ride it until the wheels fall off, literally. Well, God had other plans. I took my car in for an estimation on repairs and walked out with a new car with all of the features that I ever wanted. It was almost as if that car had my name on it. Things are funny like that right?

If this is any indication of what my 2019 will be like, bring it on! I feel so good about the path that I am on even though there are some things that I still need to work on.

For 2019, my desire is to continue to field people and things that are no longer benefitting me and my sense of peace and step even more into myself.

Mommies & Friends Day Out

Mommies & Friends Day Out

We invite the City of Houston to come experience Mommies & Friends Day Out! 

Grab some of your closest friends and come on a nice day bike ride while listening to some great music! Take a much-needed break away from the kids, mingle with other moms or simply make some new friends. This event is a way to showcase some of the numerous activities that are not only beneficial for our physical health but also for our mental health as well. Mommy or not, we are all juggling a thousand balls and it doesn’t help that the social issues that plague us on a daily basis are just added pressure. Finding some respite in normal, everyday activities is imperative to maintaining a balance in your mental health. So let this event be the start to exploring your own physical and mental health goals and how you can begin, little by little, to incorporate various activities into your daily routine. So grab friends and come enjoy a day of release.

Click the link to purchase your ticket! You don’t want to miss out!